On procrastination...

To me, there are two types of procrastination; the type that you willingly commit and the type that just you can't avoid.

I believe that the latter of the two types isn't itself a bad thing, sometimes life gets in the way of homework or lawn-work, and you can't help but put it aside in order to complete a more time sensitive task. That is understandable. For example, many times I've had to put aside my desire to start pursuing photography because I had an essay to write. Other times I've had to put aside practicing my instrument because of a family gathering. I may not be trying to intently avoid these tasks, but I can't help but put them to the side and do them the next day. This is where the problem starts, however. When I begin to push things aside because of the second type, the first type almost always follows it, starting a vicious cycle of procrastination, laziness, and often regret. I can't begin an essay one day because I have rehearsal, I end up never starting the damn thing until the weekend before I have to turn it in. The entire time, I am conscious and content with my decision to willingly procrastinate and I become lazy. This procrastination, and in turn laziness, ends up bleeding into the rest of my life; I don't start my homework until midnight, I don't practice for a week, I don't hang out with my friends because I'm "too tired," the list goes on and on. It's not until I take a while to reflect upon the past few weeks (or in this case, months) that I realize what I've done to myself.

I waited 222 days to write this blog post. It started because I was doing something that needed to be done, and I decided to put this on the back-burner. Suddenly, everything else I did that wasn't necessary for me to maintain homeostasis was not needed, and therefore I also put that on the back burner. I did not cook as much as I originally hoped to, I did not improve my clarinet playing as much as I hoped to, I did not use my camera as much as I hoped to, I did not keep up with friends and teachers, I did not enact change, I did not pass go, and no... I did not collect $200 dollars.

With only about an hour left before 2017 is over and 2018 begins, I heavily regret that I allowed the good procrastination slowly morph into the bad procrastination. I regret a lot of stuff that I did this year, but I honestly think I regret this the most. I haven't done anything I really wanted to, and there is no one else but myself to blame.

This incessant pessimism doesn't change anything however. I can only reflect upon the past, analyze the present, and prepare to change my future. Hopefully, I can avoid this procrastination that seems to figuratively tear me limb from limb and get something done in this next year. I know I have a lot to do, it really just is a matter of doing it.

"Never do something tomorrow that you could do today," -Everyone important and their mother